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One of the biggest enemies of a healthy mind is uniformity (lacking diversity or variation in its interactions). That is, having a homogenous interaction with the world and filtering out everything that does not fit one’s interests.

Imagine a John Doe who only watches horror movies, listens only to country music, eats only chicken, watches TV on a single network, spends all his vacations in Jamaica and all his friends are white, middle-class people from Madrid, Spain - and they have the same interests as him. Other than missing out on many of life’s experiences, this person is also narrowing down his outlook on life and the world around him. And not only will he be useless as the member of a focus group or as a consultant, but he will miss ideas that have the potential to improve him and his life, or the life of others.

Avoiding it sounds simple; living a diverse life. But it is a little too simple perhaps, because many of us overlook it’s importance quite often.

Try not to be like the John Doe in my example.

Avoid homogenous films, TV, music, food, people, books, sex, games, sports and places. Experience life by doing things you don’t usually do, spend time with people you don’t usually spent time with, practice some sport that you don’t usually practice, go somewhere you wouldn’t usually go and so on.

In human history, it’s only been recently that our lives turned to be so predictable. Not saying it as a critique, but the more options we get when it comes to choosing what we interact with, the higher the probability of us making wrong decisions regarding those choices. We are capable of more interesting and creative lives than our modern cultures often provide for us.

Go out of our way to find diverse experiences; waiting for them is just not enough.

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The relationship between money and human happiness is a simple one.

The happiness created by money is abstract happiness (the emotion induced by an increasing amount of goal-achievement), and one turns to it when he no longer is unable of enjoying the real happiness (which is a matter of experience of the mind, or soul).

A man wants to earn money in order to be happy, and his whole effort and best of a life are devoted to earning that money. Happiness is forgotten; the means are taken for the end. - Albert Camus

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People with brilliant minds and extraordinary capacities think little of admitting or exposing their weaknesses and faults. For them, they represent something for which they have paid, something that they deserve to have. They might even feel that their errors do them honor and help define them better.

On the other hand there are the mediocre minds, who would rather conceal and hide their few little faults, as they are very sensitive to any references that are made to them. This happens because the mediocre mind has another scale of values, one in which a person’s worth is defined by its lack of defects or errors, and not by its brilliant capacities or results — which is absurd, for we all know that no man is perfect. Hence, when the faults of the mediocre come to light, they are immediately held in less esteem, for they have lost that which gave them value.

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No one can know what capacities he possesses for doing, happiness or suffering, until an opportunity arises to bring them into play.

Without such opportunity, the best anyone can do is speculate. And that speculation is often times exaggerated, as almost every person wishes, hopes and dreams, or distorts the reality with other, more pessimistic ideas and beliefs.

Those preaching that human beings have unlimited capacities are both true and false at the same time. They are true in the abstract and false in practice, for in the realm of the living we all obey nature’s laws without exception.

If you want to know what you are capable of doing, don’t listen to the well-wishers or the pessimists; look for the correct opportunity to test your capacities. That will provide the only true answer.

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As Aristotle, the ancient Greek philosopher, once wrote, “happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.”

That most of us misunderstand happiness and look for it in the wrong places is not an unknown fact. We constantly suffer its illusion and blindly try to grasp its shadow. We look for happiness in the real world, in the ‘real’ realm of existence.

But the real world has many laws — natural and unnatural — which we must unceasingly overcome, and however fair, pleasant and happy we may be in it, we’re always moving controlled by them.

In the realm of thought, however, we are disembodied beings, uncontrollable and free from penury. The real world can’t ever offer a happiness such as that which a fine mind finds in itself at the propitious moment.

Real happiness does not reside in the real world; is spawns from thoughts, which are the result of thinking, which is what fruitful thinking minds do.

Note: it is then no wonder that the population of the world is increasingly unhappy.

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photo by: Kamal H.

Writing is the activity of giving thoughts material form, with the use of signs and symbols. Written materials, such as books, essays and webpages, are the materialization of someone’s thoughts. Thus, reading represents the assimilation of foreign thoughts in one’s own mind.

While we read, our mind is similar to a puppet in the puppeteer’s hands — we have no control over it, we are “thinking” with the writer’s mind. Obviously, that is not necessarily a completely bad thing, for when the source of our thoughts dries up we need to feed our minds new material. But too much reading creates mind atrophy (incapacity of thinking and judging), and probably even addiction to thinking with someone else’s mind. Further, it encourages a sort of “argumentum ad verecundiam” behavior, in which people support their borrowed thoughts with more borrowed thoughts.

Constant thinking with someone else’s head (reading) is similar to constant car driving — it won’t be long until one has difficulties in walking on his own two feet.

The opposite of reading, thinking for oneself, is the pursuit of creating a coherent, whole system of thoughts. Even though its start might be slow, the system will grow exponentially as more knowledge from without is interpreted, catalogued and put together. And unlike thoughts and ideas acquired from books, the ones which have their origins in one’s own mind flow together of themselves into a unity of thought, knowledge and insight.

Thinking for oneself is the result of experience, conversation and a little reading. The art of not reading consists in thinking for oneself.

It is a shame to scare away one’s own thoughts through reading. It is the same as leaving the jungle and going to the botanical garden for the purpose of learning about plants.

It is true that we might get to our conclusions faster through reading than through thinking for ourselves, but the latter is hundreds of times more valuable than the former. It has context, flow, rhythm, depth and coherence — one feels at home in it.

* * *

One of the most important characteristics of the genius mind is that it thinks for itself, and only later on it discovers who the authorities for his opinions are.

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Edit: post is shorter because someone thought fit to mess up the code by hacking the page and inserting a stupid ad (that didn’t even show up). They thought fit to delete the rest of the post to accommodate their ad.

Later edit: original post has been restored.

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Quite often, while surfing the internet and reading different pages, I have stopped and wondered why do so many people feel the need to write lengthy phrases in order to make a simple, often times trivial idea, intelligible.

I thought that it might be the complete lack of any writing skills, or the lack of intellect. Or perhaps it is the desire of earning money by doing nothing. Often times however, they were all combined.

Similar to book authors, there are two types of web publishers: those who write for the subject’s sake, and those who write for writing’s sake.

The first type of publisher has had thoughts or experiences which to him seem to be worthy of communicating, while the second type needs money and consequently writes for money. The writer writing for writing’s sake needs to spin out his thoughts to the greatest possible length because he sells words; and the ideas he often presents have half-true, forced thoughts, as foundation. His writing also contains evasion, because he wants it to appear what it is not.

As a consequence of the above, the writer writing for money writes for the sake of filling up the page. And as soon as you, as a reader, sense that, you should stop reading that nonsense, for time is precious.

There is nothing an author should guard against more than the apparent endeavor to show more intellect than he has. Doing it rouses the suspicion in the reader that he has very little, since we humans always affect that which we don’t possess.

Not only in philosophy, but in almost all other areas, the true writers (the ones who think before they write) try to express their thoughts as purely, clearly, definitively and concisely as ever possible. The cheaters copy, twist, spin, dilute and kill any value their source might have had.

Writing for money, in a bad style, means a stupid or confused mind; it doesn’t have anything of value to communicate. For the sake of your time and intellect, if you are reading such materials, you should stop.

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All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms.
And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress’ eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon’s mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lined,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper’d pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.

William Shakespeare - All the world’s a stage (from As You Like It 2/7)

I believe the first two lines of the above poem are well known to most of you. The first line has even become clichéed.

But do you know where the idea that all the world’s a stage came from?

Have you ever used the word “person” to refer to another human being?

person

c.1225, from O.Fr. persone “human being” (12c., Fr. personne), from L. persona “human being,” originally “character in a drama, mask,” possibly borrowed from Etruscan phersu “mask.”

The use of the world “person” in the English (and all other European languages) language to signify a human human individual is, probably, unintentionally appropriate - as it is our usage of it in referring to another human being. As the etymology of the word betrays, “persona” really means “a player’s mask,” and it is quite certain that no one shows himself as he is, but that each wears a mask and plays a “role,” throughout the length of its life.

Generally speaking, the whole of social life is a continual comedy, which the worthy find insipid, while the stupid delight in it greatly.

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“Because of your smile, you make life more beautiful.” - Thich Nhat Hanh

We can be quite certain that many of us owe our life’s happiness to the circumstances in which we posses a pleasant smile and so win the hearts of others.

One doesn’t need to read many self-improvement blogs to notice that the act of smiling is held high regards, almost idealized - the perfect tool for feeling happiness and making people like you.

However, the hearts who praise and value smiling would do better to take care to remember what Hamlet put down in his tablets - “that one may smile, and smile, and be a villain.”

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photo by: Toni F.

Many people seem to base their ideas about what is “true” and what is “false” upon some form of majority opinion. Sometimes it is a simple majority vote, sometimes a statistical sampling, while other times the “general consensus” of all people around the world. Whatever form it has, the basic premise that most people adhere to is that “truth” is best distinguished from “falsehood” by observing what most others believe to be the case.

That happens because people typically hold democracy in high regard; so high that often times they mistake democratic majority for “truth.” In democracies, policies and laws are determined by majority opinion - so why not “truth” as well? What must be understood is that while the democratic process may be a just means for deciding what policy to follow, that doesn’t mean that this process always hits upon the best or most correct policy.

Democracy is a system of establishing political and social justice, not a system for establishing truths. Physicists cannot determine the age of the universe by submitting the question to a vote of the majority. Philosophers cannot decide whether beauty is universal or not by meeting and casting ballots. Truth and justice are both important values, but they can’t be arrived at via the same means.

Looking around the internet, it is easy to see that what is considered to be true is what most people label as such. It is a case of reliance upon authority, in which the “authority figure” is represented by the entire population rather than a single individual or a particular group.

Alan Alexander Milne, best known for his books about the teddy bear Winnie-the-Pooh, writes: “The third-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the majority. The second-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the minority. The first-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking.”

Relying upon “general consent” doesn’t work as a valid means of separating truth from error; numerical strength does not confer the status of truth to anything.

“Truth always rests with the minority, and the minority is always stronger than the majority, because the minority is generally formed by those who really have an opinion, while the strength of a majority is illusory, formed by the gangs who have no opinion — and who, therefore, in the next instant (when it is evident that the minority is the stronger) assume its opinion… while truth again reverts to a new minority.” - Søren Kierkegaard

The biggest “problem” however, is that often times, truth gives no obvious advantage - in a world where almost everyone seeks advantages. Truth gives no higher status, no power over others, no special status; all you get is truth.

It may sound odd to wonder how and why truth matters - under most circumstances the importance of truth should be obvious. Nevertheless, the question of truth does have problems which are difficult to address; among them is the question of what role the notion of “truth” plays in our philosophy and our understanding of the world around us.

The simplest and most obvious definition of truth is, without a doubt, that which accords with reality. Here, we can say that truth matters because reality matters. And even though truth doesn’t automatically give you anything special, it is a requirement for anyone wanting to achieve anything. An old saying comes to mind, “keep it real.“

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When someone’s life isn’t exactly perfect, friends and family usually advise that person to look at the bright side of things, at what is positive.

When businesses fail, the managers who took them to the ground do the same thing; they look at the positive aspects of their failing businesses.

The two examples above share a huge error, an error that not only will make their subjects hit the ground faster, but will also take them there without anyone feeling the imminent danger.

“You’re heading towards hell, but can you see the bright side!?”

Every time someone advises you to look at what is good in your life, when your life is a mess or not going in the direction you want it to, you might want to slap that person. Call it a “wake up slap” and tell them to take it out on me (give them the link to this post).

One of the many things that most people don’t seem to realize is that clinging onto positives, while going in the wrong direction, encourages dreaming and inaction by creating superficial comfort in the subject’s mind.

Having to face a tough reality is a really scary and difficult task, but that is the one crucial thing to do when things aren’t going well. You want to wake up to reality and get motivated by that fear, to start changing things.

When something, anything, goes wrong, one needs to face the reality, take responsibility, and then engage in the required actions that are required to correct the errors. If your life, or business, is failing (or not going where you want it to), do not look at any of the positives of your current situation. That will make you comfortable with your current (wrong) direction and afraid to face the reality and change anything.

Looking at the positives is always dangerous if the general situation is not positive. To add a twist to one of Churchill’s famous quotes, if you’re going through hell, acknowledge that you’re going through hell and keep going; do not get caught by the scenery.

Positive thoughts in bad situations are nothing but extremely dangerous comforts. And you can verify the truth of this information by asking any successful businessman.

Another bad thing encouraged by the “look at the positives” attitude, is irresponsibility. Denying the bad nature of a situation and taking responsibility for it’s bad nature are two totally incompatible actions.

If you’re riding the wrong train, don’t get comfortable; jump out of it as fast as you can. Only make yourself comfortable when you’re riding the right one.

PS: Try not to listen to what you want to hear, but to what you are afraid to hear. It might not be pleasant at first, but it will take you over the moon someday.

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It has been a while since I wrote my last article. It has been a while since I wrote anything longer than simple chat lines on IM and answers to comments. Hopefully, I haven’t lost whatever writing skills I managed to develop since the starting of this project.

The period in which I’ve been inactive has represented a short break from blogging, because even if I love doing this, I can only do it properly for so long. Now that the break is over, it is time to man the cannons.

In this article, I would like to say a few words about addiction; how to avoid developing one, how to figure out if you have one, how to isolate it and how to get rid of it.

For the purpose of this article, I will define an addiction as being a recurring compulsion by an individual to repeatedly engage in some specific activity, despite possible harmful consequences to the individual’s health, mental state or social life.

Addictions

Addiction is a terrible thing. You wake up and say “I’ll only have one cup today” through a groggy mind. Then that first sip hits your veins like a freight train.

Quitting an addiction is best done cold turkey… and you are beyond that point today… so you give in. You have that second cup, quickly followed by the third.

Before you know it, you’ve lost count, the coffee pot is empty, and you break into a cold, nervous sweat.

Without even thinking, you start brewing another pot, while saying to yourself “I’ll only have one more pot today”… and you hate the fact that you are lying to yourself. Addiction is a terrible thing.

In theory, addictions can be derived from any rewarding behavior. So, in theory, you could get “hooked” on pretty much anything that makes you feel good, empowered, in control, free, et cetera. You could be addicted to, let’s say, reading motivational books or playing golf.

Addictions may have two forms:

1. Physical dependencies;
2. Psychological dependencies.

As their names suggest, the physical dependency has to do with a dependency of the biological system (ie. opiates, nicotine) while the psychological dependency has to do with a dependency of the mind (ie. gambling, shopping).

Often times, addictions as a whole include both of the two forms of dependency, in different proportions. Physical dependencies include some form of psychological dependency, and vice versa.

How to figure out if you have an addiction?

Although personal “diagnostics” might not represent anything more than guesses, it is important to be aware of the reality of your life. If you believe all is fine when it is not, you are slowly dragging yourself down. That is especially true since addictions can lead one into ignoring or neglecting important aspects of life such as family, friends, work, et cetera.

The simplest way to figure out whether you have an addiction or not is to think about an activity that makes you feel rather bad or dirty after engaging in it, or an activity that you know is rather destructive but you are still doing it. If you have one such activity, the next step is to try and quit it. If at this stage you encounter withdrawal symptoms (such as cravings, irritability, insomnia, depression, anorexia, anger, irritation, etc), you most certainly are addicted to that activity.

Of course, it is easy and comfortable to believe that we are addiction free, but given the destructive nature of addictions, it is safe to have a hard look at ourselves from time to time and to prevent any dependency from growing too strong.

As a MMORPG player and almost an addict, I can assure anyone that the process of developing an addiction is often times so smooth that one doesn’t have any idea that he is going in that direction. Seriously, who worries about developing an addiction when drinking the first cup of cofee?

To avoid an addiction, other than avoiding known addictive activities, it is useful to analyze yourself from time to time to see if you have slipped in some dependency.

How to get rid of an addiction?

The recommended way, of course, is to consult a trained specialist.

However, in case you have an addiction that is still in its infancy, quitting that activity and replacing it with something pleasant and productive, as fast as possible, without becoming romantic about the consequences of quitting that activity, should solve the problem.

Most addictions are harmless and easy to quit at the start, the harmful consequences growing exponentially in time.

Addiction to “feel-goodism?”

One of the things which guarantees large repeating numbers of visitors to sites promoting positive thinking (and things derived from it), is the dependency that they create.

They tell people what they want to hear, thus making them feel better, stronger, smarter, more capable, more certain of themselves, more confident, etc.

The applicability of such information makes for another topic, but the fact that one is repeatedly rewarded (with good feelings) for reading those ideas can turn into an addiction; not necessarily an addiction to a particular site, but to the ideas promoted. And as all addictions, addiction to feel-goodism is destructive too.

PS: I’m currently in the process of curing my infant MMORPG addiction.

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photo by: TW Collins

In a comment on my previous post, Z. Hereford raised a very important point; defining the truth and beauty on which I want to build personal-development 2.0 on.

Differing claims on such questions as what constitutes truth and beauty, how to define and identify them, whether they is subjective, relative, objective, or absolute, continue to be debated by professional philosophers and scholars. However, it is not my intention or desire to go into that direction as it would uselessly complicate things. Here is my simple clarification on what I mean by truth and beauty.

Truth

Aletheia (ἀλήθεια) is the Greek word for “truth” and like the English word it implies sincerity as well as factuality or reality.

In Classical Greek, Lethe (λήθη; lêthê) literally means “forgetfulness” or “concealment.” As you can see, a-lethe-ia is rooted in Lethe, and it translates into “un-forgetfulness” or “un-concealment.”

I don’t want, nor need, to define Truth. For the context, it suffices to say that the truth I am referring to implies all of the above; sincerity, factuality, reality, un-forgetfulness.

Beauty

As for beauty, another simple answer: the beauty that I am referring to implies distinction, excellence, merit and virtue.

The core ideas

Drawing from the above, personal-development 2.0 will be based on sincerity, factuality, reality, un-forgetfulness, distinction, excellence, merit and virtue.

Who’s prepared for the new?

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(continued from part 3)

I don’t know what feelings did the last three posts send out, but this one should make you feel good. No, not superficially good, but good because you are invited to innovate a concept that has a worldwide reach; good, because you can change something influential in this world, and change it for the better.

What is it about

Basically, I would appreciate feedback from as many people as possible, regarding the creation of a new standard: self-improvement 2.0 - name could change.

If you’ve read the previous three posts, or if you came in contact with the current self-improvement ideas and analyzed them, then you know they don’t work as advertised and exist mostly for profits.

Self-improvement 2.0 is the idea that came to my mind after realizing that I can’t really change what is wrong with the self-improvement concept; if new, working ideas are to appear, a fresh ground based on truth is required - thus self-improvement 2.0.

There are many sites offering quality information and thoughts that get little if no traction at all, for they don’t fit the popular self-improvement (or self-help) concept. And that is a shame knowing that they can genuinely help people have better lives - not only in the middle-class sense of having more cars, money, friends, etc.

What you have to do

There are three things that you can do:

1. Visit the contact page, fill in the form and send “rules” suggestions for the self-improvement 2.0 standard. For example: if a website is to be considered self-improvement 2.0 compatible, it should be telling people the truth rather than telling them what they want to hear; if a website fails to do that, it’s still running by the old inexistent rules and is not compatible with the new standard. Adding rules should fix many issues, among which the inexistent entry bars, the truthfulness and the usefulness of the presented ideas, the value readers get, et cetera. The only thing to keep in mind while thinking about rules is the core concept of self-improvement 2.0: the truth.
2. Write a short post about self-improvement 2.0 on your blog. If you’re a blogger who’s not afraid of innovative changes, encourage your readers to take part in what I wrote at point #1.
3. If you entertain the idea but don’t feel like engaging in either of the first two points, you can help spread the word by emailing this article to friends or voting for it on social sites.

What will happen

Assuming that self-improvement 2.0 will get traction and will be accepted as a new standard, many of the issues that self-improvement currently faces will vanish. That would translate into many corrected lives around the globe, many improved minds, many people capable of thinking for themselves, and many other benefits.

If it won’t get traction, we will keep sinking in the mud represented by the old ways for a bit longer; until someday the inevitable will happen and the new will replace the old - the difference being that we would have less control over that change.

Some of the essential ideas

I would like self-improvement 2.0 to be based on truth, beauty and kindness; all three at the same time.

Truth, because as Pearl Bailey once said, “you never find yourself until you face the truth.”

Beauty, because among other things, “(beauty) is the promise of happiness,” as Stendhal put it.

And kindness, as “kindness in words creates confidence and kindness in thinking creates profoundness” (Laozi, 6th Century B.C.).

I will be open for suggestions and questions regarding the new standard until the 15th of February, 2008. Everyone’s invited!

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(continued from part 2)

In the previous two posts I wrote about some of the ethical issues with which the self-improvement “industry” is faced these days. However, those problems might be of small importance for the end-users, the consumers at the market end of the chain.

The #1 issue for the consumer is this, “does it work? Do I get any value for my time/money?”

And unfortunately, the answer to that question when it comes to self-improvement is a resounding “no” - in most cases.

Even though we could probably ignore the ethics of the people involved in self-improvement, we can’t ignore the results of the work that comes in direct contact with those ethics.

We don’t buy rotten tomatoes or untested vaccines, so why would we buy ideas that don’t work?

One could argue that they do work, that people are motivated by them; but how motivated are they? And in what direction? I would believe that they are motivated to buy the second book and attend another seminar; not motivated to start thinking for themselves and to take real action.

If I would buy a car that would need 50% of its parts replaced weekly, I would think of it as a poorly constructed car; self-help is that car.

So why doesn’t self-improvement work?

Well, first there are the ethics on which it is based; and then there is the naiveness of the consumers. Of course, the possibility of it never being intended to work shouldn’t be left aside either.

Detergents have labels that read, “eliminates wine stains.” People buy them for that promise (and some other reasons, of course).

Self-improvement’s promise is to change our life, maintain our health, make money, organize our life, find women and succeed in business. How can such promises be ignored? Especially when people only listen - really listen - to someone who makes a lot of money doing the thing he’s talking about (and self-help gurus make millions).

How to make it work: innovation

We do not need more self-improvement books, gurus, blogs, films and seminars. We have too many of those. What we need, what self-improvement *needs*, is innovation. No false or inactionable hopes and promises; only the truth (which is not always comfortable, mind you).

I am currently working on articulating some of my ideas in that aspect, but I will need a little more time, as the start of the year is a busy time for me.

I am aware that many people *will* be against innovation of any sort, especially radical innovation, because it would probably mean serious losses for them. However, that is not going to stop me from at least trying to change the concept and the industry.

You, the one reading these lines, will have the power to decide what will win.

(to be continued in part 4)

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(continued from part 1)

The first four issues of self-improvement, from the previous article:

1. Industrialized short lived artificial value;
2. Lack of coherence and/or connection between the presented ideas;
3. Lack of closure;
4. Inexistent entry bars.

The target of the series is to innovate the self-improvement (or self-help, whatever you call it) concept so that it will actually benefit real people.

At the moment, the general area of self-improvement has become very unethical, being focused on selling cheap candies for piles of money.

Other than the previous four issues, there are some more, as follows.

5. Most people who get in this field do it *only* for the money

From “psychologists” to “philosophers” and bloggers, a whole bunch of people are into teaching self-improvement for the sole purpose of making money. I can’t disclose any emails or other types of private messages, but I can tell you that I received quite a few emails from different people asking me for suggestions on how to make more money from this field. I can’t give any names, but some of those people are bloggers that you know.

Strangely, I never got any emails asking how to offer more value… or anything along those lines for that matter.

You draw the conclusions.

6. Most of the ideas that are sold are learned in kindergarten. Anyone with a decent amount of common sense knows them

The best example in this regard is one idea that I’ve seen in a Stephen Covey speech. It was something about an Indian talking stick and it said that whoever holds the stick is allowed to talk while the rest are allowed only to listen. I am absolutely sure that all of you know this basic conversational rule: don’t talk while others are talking, it’s rude and unpleasant.

Here’s the movie.

There is some mumbo-jumbo added to make it look new and interesting (and worth the money paid), but the core idea is learned at five or six years.

7. It is all *too* positive and comforting

Roughly 99,8% of all the blog articles, books and presentations are motivational, in that they make one feel good about himself and about the world around. They are designed so that they can make ordinary people feel like they are the smartest and most beautiful of all humans. And if one needs to be motivated by others into believing those things, it means that one is probably neither beautiful or smart.One of my favorite philosophers, Arthur Schopenhauer, wrote:

I shall be told, I suppose, that my philosophy is comfortless—because I speak the truth; and people prefer to be assured that everything the Lord has made is good. Go to the priests, then, and leave philosophers in peace! At any rate, do not ask us to accommodate our doctrines to the lessons you have been taught. That is what those rascals of sham philosophers will do for you.Ask them for any doctrine you please, and you will get it. Your University professors are bound to preach optimism; and it is an easy and agreeable task to upset their theories. - Arthur Schopenhauer, “Studies in Pessimism”

Teaching self-improvement should be, at least in a small measure, comfortless. Too much of anything, be it a feeling of comfort or a prolonged state of happiness, is damaging for humans; one will eventually become immune, or neutral to that feeling, and then the pain would start, as the only place to go would be pessimistic in nature.

Self-improvement should build a pessimistic aura around it; however, it should have a certain amount of pessimism injected into it.

At the moment it’s a lot like Brothers Grimm “Hansel & Gretel” story; scary woods (the “world”), house made of candies (self-help teachings). The only problem is that the woods aren’t so dark and the candy house isn’t that safe.

Regarding the fact that “it is an easy and agreeable task to upset their theories,” I must say that I have a few comment bans and some full visit bans on some self-improvement blogs; I’ve earned them for expressing a point of view that conflicted with that which the blogger presented. Did any of those bloggers contacted me to talk about that issue? Not one of them.

(to be continued in part 3)

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“Without change there is no innovation, creativity, or incentive for improvement. Those who initiate change will have a better opportunity to manage the change that is inevitable.” - William Pollard

You might have noticed that my posting frequency has slowed down lately. Don’t worry (or start partying), I’m not leaving. I’m just getting started, actually.

The less frequent posting is due to two reasons:

1. The offline world requires more of my time this period of the year;
2. I have a rather strong feeling that there is something wrong with what I do on this blog.

I’m sure no one will have trouble understanding the first reason, but what about the second one. What do I mean by saying there’s something wrong with what I do on this blog? What could possibly be so wrong as to make me question doing it? If you’re a personal-development blogger yourself, or if you enjoy the topic of personal-development, you need to read this.

But first, look again at the title. It says “fixing the self-improvement concept,” implying that there is something wrong with it.

To better understand what you’ll read further on, you might want to read one of my older articles, called The 5 principles of sustainable innovation. In that article I wrote that the logical chain leading to innovation (which is a pragmatic crystallization of creativity) has five steps.

1. Dissatisfaction
2. Problem-solving
3. Imagination
4. Vision
5. Luck

The first two steps are the ones that are relevant to this article. Those two steps are the reason why I’m writing this.

In the same article on innovation, I wrote that an innovative idea isn’t necessarily a completely new one, but often times an improved version of an old idea. Improved either by introducing something new, or by fixing something that was broken. And because there’s something wrong with the self-improvement concept, it needs fixing - through innovation.

Now let’s change gears and see what is wrong with the current self-improvement environment (the concept and most of its applied forms).

What needs to be fixed

First of all, it is the “industrialized” feel that self-improvement has got. It has become a very profitable business, and like all businesses it has deception at its core; you can’t make a profit if you don’t deceive in some way or another, that’s what all businesses do. To a certain degree, the monetization of the concept is good, as people need to live. However, we’re witnessing a non-healthy state in which the concept has lost its sanity and usefulness almost completely, in favor of bigger profits. Fluffy, empty ideas, are endlessly repeated in a hope that people will pay good money to hear them. It’s like buying a $650 pill to artificially boost your morale for 2.5 seconds; short lived artificial value.

Second, the lack of coherence in the presented ideas - applies to personal-development bloggers. Today they talk about creativity, tomorrow about money, then about relationships, etc. It’s like watching many TV channels at once; the information presented gets messy. Of course, designing something coherent takes more work, but if people say that their life-mission is to help others, they should not walk only one extra mile but one thousand of them. I know, I’m guilty of this myself; I will try to change my approaches from now on.

Third, the lack of closure. This applies to the self-help industry as a whole, because I haven’t ever stumbled upon a material that had finality. I’ve seen advice, advice, advice, and then some more advice. It’s like a never-ending story; a boulder going down an endless slope. And it is especially true when talking about blogs… you’ll see the same core idea repeated *many* times, with no planned ending.

Fourth, the entry bars. As I’m writing this, in January 2008, virtually anyone with a good amount of common sense can become a self-improvement guru. Globalization, in its wide economic sense, allows unknown individuals to become self-proclaimed gurus in self-improvement in no time. There are absolutely no requirements whatsoever, and because of that, there are many shady characters entering the arena.

(to be continued in part 2)

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photo by: nuryasmin3

“There is only one thing people like that is good for them; a good night’s sleep” - Edgar Watson Howe

A good night’s sleep is an essential biological need. Without it, you can’t be your best during the day – at work, at home, in the car, or anyplace else.

Our behavior, moods, our ability to make decisions and even our eating habits are hugely affected by the quality and quantity of sleep that we get. Sleep experts recommend eight hours of sleep each night to maintain good sleep health, but in its 2001 Omnibus “Sleep In America” Poll, the U.S. National Sleep Foundation reported that one-third of adults (31%) don’t even get seven hours of sleep per night. The same poll also reported that 22% of respondents said they are so sleepy during the day that it interfered with their daily activities at least a few days every week.

If ignored, sleep problems can also contribute to significant health problems, such as strokes, heart attacks, high blood pressure, clinical depression, diabetes and other serious conditions.

Sleep issues can have a deep impact over an individual’s professional life, personal activities and general well-being.

However, getting a good night’s sleep is easier said than done, the hardest thing to do being right there at the beginning; falling asleep.

“How do people go to sleep? I’m afraid I’ve lost the knack. I might try busting myself smartly over the temple with the nightlight. I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound; if I can remember” - Dorothy Parker

No, no, that’s not it.

White sound and dark light

Research has long shown that soothing, low frequency sounds help many babies to relax and fall asleep more easily. Here’s a secret: adults get put to sleep by them, too.

White noise is a random signal with a flat power spectral density. In its purest form, it is not really noise at all. White noise, which is also known as white sound, is a combination of sound frequencies in equal amounts. Just like a white beam of light is made up of all the colors in the color spectrum, white noise is made up of all the sound frequencies.

The white noise is a very peaceful sound that is instinctively soothing and calming to the ears and minds of humans of all ages.

But pure white noise can’t put too many adults too sleep. If anything, it would probably annoy them. However, if the white noise sound is pulsing, magic happens. Some say that the soothing ability of white noise has to do with what we hear inside of our mother’s uterus - pulsing white/pink noise.

For most people, including me, the best white noise rhythm pattern is that of a hair dryer. It puts me to sleep in no time.

Also, for those who sleep during the night, a no-light environment is necessary. Any light source will require attention from the brain, thus reducing the relaxation level and increasing the time required to fall asleep - and probably reducing the sleep quality.

Free sleeping aids

As the previous heading suggested, two things are needed if one is to fall asleep quickly:

1. Pulsating white noise;
2. Dark light;

Another important factor is the room temperature, which should not be too high or too low (the extremities of your body need to be warm).

Now, I can’t help you with the dark light or the room temperature (you have control over them), but I can provide two soothing mp3s with pulsating white noise. For free of course.

Each is almost one minute long and both of them are loopable so you can repeat them as much as you need to without noticing any gaps (best results with a 1 sec crossfade on repeat). You can download them by clicking on the following link: Hair Dryer sounds.

And if you have a computer in the room you’re sleeping in and want to play the sounds off it, there is a little free application that you need to use. It’s called TVLike Sleep and it will turn off your computer at a predetermined time, so that it won’t run all night uselessly. You can download the application here.

Don’t be afraid to try them

I want you to use one of the two sounds tonight and see the difference. I used the #2 last night and fell asleep in less than 3 minutes. It usually takes me somewhere between 10-12 minutes to fall asleep, so it was almost a 400% time improvement. And it’s not only a time improvement, but a quality improvement as well. I went to sleep at 2am and woke up fresh at 10am; my usual schedule was sleep at 2am and waking up at 1pm.

I hope that these sounds will help you sleep better, or at least that they will be an effective way to wind down and relax. In case they don’t work for you, you will need to find another pulsating rhythm for the white noise - ocean, rain, vacuum cleaner, etc.

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photo b: flyingwombat

As I wrote in an older article, laughing is good. Of course, that is if you don’t laugh all day long - some might say.

If one laughs too much, one is considered abnormal. But to really understand what abnormal is, we have to understand its root, normal. Here are some definitions for normal:

• conforming with or constituting a norm or standard or level or type or social norm;
• in accordance with scientific laws
• being approximately average or within certain limits in e.g. intelligence and development;
• convention: something regarded as a normative example;

As you see, the abnormality of laughing too much has nothing to do with the ideas associated with abnormality; laughing too much is simply different from what most other people are doing.

Now, do you consider yourself to be normal or abnormal?

There’s a poll below, vote your answer now (before reading any further).

The normality test

While stumbling around the web, I discovered a quick and fun self-test for normality. The test has been designed by experts and its goal is to end the “segregation” of considering people who are mentally or emotionally different as being somehow fundamentally, to the core, different from the so-called “normal.” The test is below.

Make an animal noise. Now. At your computer screen or wherever you are. Make any animal noise. Meow of a cat. Moo of a cow. Anything. Louder the better.

Evaluate yourself. Here is how:

Did you make an animal noise of any kind? You show no sign of normality. Congratulations!!

Did you did *not* make an animal noise of any kind? You show no sign of normality. Congratulations!!

Spread the word; encourage others to take this simple normality self-test!

Some other thoughts

The trouble with normal is that it puts people in a box, and in that box we start losing our uniqueness. And we’re doing it to us, we’re doing it to the world; we’re trying to fit into a space that is unnatural for us. More than that, normal is a very dangerous term. It implies abnormal and that implies peoples judgments.

Normal and natural are very different things which we often get confused.

It is normal to have a job; but it is not natural. It is normal to eat processed foods; but it is not natural. It *is* normal for countries to invade other countries; but again, it is not natural.

Don’t look for normality, look for naturalness. Be natural.

To end this article with a relevant joke, do you know what is the difference between a psychotic and a mystic? The mystic knows who *not* to talk to.

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Photo by: faisalee

How wise is it to call something good and wonderful without looking into the future and asking, “where could it lead me?”

Not too wise. And yet we do it all the time.

When someone earns more, he feels that it’s a good thing. When someone enjoys life more, he feels that it’s a good thing. When someone buys a new car, he feels that it’s a good thing. Et cetera.

But what is that which we catalog as being good? It is our perceived experience of a single moment belonging to a stretch. And more often than not, we ignore the fact that we are not living in that single moment, but in the stretch. And so it means that we get caught up in the smallest of the details; most of the time.

There is a little Zen story that I’d like to share with you on this topic. I don’t know how it is called or where I have heard of it, but it goes like this.

There was a little boy. And this boy, at his 14th birthday, gets a horse. And everybody in the village says, “how wonderful, the boy got a horse!” The Zen master says, “we’ll see.”

Two years later, the boy falls off the horse, breaks his leg and the whole village says, “how terrible!” The Zen master says, “we’ll see.”

Then a war breaks out and all the young men have to go out and fight, except that this boy can’t, because his leg is all messed up, so now everybody in the village says, “how wonderful!”

…You know what the Zen master said.

What I want you, the reader, to get out of this, is that the worth of a moment is not determined by a moment, but by the stretch to which all moments belong. It is the perspective of the stretch of our existence, the past, the present and the future, that determines a moment’s worth.

A simple analogy is this. If you have a car, do you rate it as a good car or as a bad car based on how it behaves at a certain specific moment? Or do you drive it for a while and then form your opinion?

In our daily lives we mostly choose the first option. We rate anything as soon as it gets to us. We put the “good” or the “bad” stamp on it and that’s that; we’re probably not going to change it until it bites or pleasantly surprises us.

They say that ignorance is dangerous. But they are wrong. Ignorance is not dangerous; what is dangerous is the illusion of knowledge. You see, ignorance leaves room for improvement; one could become less ignorant. But if one has the illusion of knowledge, what does one stand to learn? “I know that, therefore I don’t need to learn it.” Which is relevant because we have the illusion of asking ourselves, “where could this lead me?” all the time; but we don’t.

If you start asking yourself the “where could this lead me?” question, three things might happen:

1. You might have a better life. Not only from a middle-class perspective (house, car, money, etc), but also from a higher one. For example, you might be able to avoid getting in a situation in which you could hurt other people or your loved ones (not necessarily in a physical manner). You might be able to avoid believing in false concepts, because you’ll see where they might lead you. You may get closer to self-actualization. And so on.
2. You might be better at passing through life’s obstacles. When you see there’s a river ahead of you, you can build a bridge; if you don’t see the river, you’ll probably drown in it.
3. Both of the above.

Before going to a rock concert, or believing in some false concept floating around out there, or desiring a better job or a bigger house, ask yourself where could those things lead you. And think hard about it. Then think hard about where your current position is taking you. After you’ve thought hard about those things, collect the data, interpret it, and make a move. It will be a good move.

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