The average man never really thinks from end to end of his life. The mental activity of such people is only a mouthing of clichés. - H.L. Mencken

The Socratic method is a very valuable tool in building self-confidence, as it makes people think.

Born 2500 years ago, Socrates is seen by many as the greatest of ancient philosophers. Noted for his ugliness, he never wore sandals or washed his cloak. An individual by today’s standards, but an annoying and frustrating man according to most who encountered him in his lifetime. Socrates taught his students in a manner that was beyond some of the conventions of the time. The Socratic method derives from the Socratic Dialogues of Plato, in which Socrates made people jump through intellectual hoops trying to defend a “truth.” He would ask a progression of seemingly innocent questions that ultimately led the respondent to a logical conclusion that was incompatible with that person’s originally stated belief.

Even though Socrates used his method more to shred people than to educate them, we can apply this technique in a kinder, gentler way, in order to build self-confidence.

These are the 5 steps of the Socratic method of inquiry:

1. Wonder. Pose a question.
2. Hypothesis. Suggest a plausible answer (a definition or definiens) from which some conceptually testable hypothetical propositions can be deduced.
3. Elenchus; “testing,” “refutation,” or “cross-examination.” Perform a thought experiment by imagining a case which conforms to the definiens but clearly fails to exemplify the definiendum, or vice versa. Such cases, if successful, are called counterexamples. If a counterexample is generated, return to step 2, otherwise go to step 4.
4. Accept the hypothesis as provisionally true. Return to step 3 if you can conceive any other case which may show the answer to be defective.
5. Act accordingly.

Before taking in any concept, belief or idea, filter them using the Socratic method.

What is self-confidence?

Self-confidence is an attitude which allows individuals to have positive yet realistic views of themselves and their situations. Self-confident people trust their own abilities, have a general sense of control in their lives, and believe that, within reason, they will be able to do what they wish, plan, and expect.

Having self-confidence does not mean that individuals will be able to do everything. Self-confident people have expectations that are realistic. Even when some of their expectations are not met, they continue to be positive and to accept themselves.

People who are not self-confident depend excessively on the approval of others in order to feel good about themselves. They tend to avoid taking risks because they fear failure. They generally do not expect to be successful. They often put themselves down and tend to discount or ignore compliments paid to them. By contrast, self-confident people are willing to risk the disapproval of others because they generally trust their own abilities. They tend to accept themselves; they don’t feel they have to conform in order to be accepted.

Avoid the group instinct

One of the biggest confidence shredders is the group instinct, the feeling that others have to approve to our beliefs. In this aspect, whether we like it or not, most of us are sheep in clothing.

Sheep are animals that are without exception dominated by a group instinct. They do everything together: when one eats they all eat, when one drinks they all drink , when one lays down to chew its cud they all do, when the head of the herd jumps over a cliff the whole flock probably follows. Sheep follow each other blindly, never thinking for themselves and always trusting the reasoning of the group leader.

We humans also have the habit of blindly following what an authority figure says, and we do things in a certain way just because that’s the way things have always been done before.

Most people are afraid to break free from the group and put themselves in a state of potential vulnerability, to then wonder why they don’t have any self-confidence…

People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use. - Soren Kierkegaard

What is the key to self-confidence? The four steps of building self-confidence

Let’s see what our ancient teachers have to say:

The Bible quotes King Solomon: “As a man thinketh, so shall he be.”

The Buddhist text, The Dhammapada, states: “We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world.”

The Greek philosopher Socrates said: “To find yourself, think for yourself.”

The truth is that you are neither a sheep or a robot, you are a human being. So you can intentionally choose how to think and you have the responsibility of thinking for yourself.

The space in which self-confidence is build is a space within you, the space of your own thoughts. And just like you can’t build your house on the foundation of your neighbor, you can’t build self-confidence on the thoughts and ideas of others.

The first step in building step-confidence: don’t think for a second that the ones in front of the group, the authority figures, know what they are doing. If you were to ask them simple questions – even about their field of work - you would be stunned to discover that they are often the most confused individuals of the entire group.

The second step in building self-confidence: think for yourself. Do not accept any belief or concept that has not passed the test of your own reasoning.

The third step in building self-confidence: break free from the flock. Do not be afraid to move against the majority. If the majority of the world’s population believes that the United States are fighting a war against some Middle-East terrorists, it doesn’t mean that their belief is correct.

The fourth step in building self-confidence: take risks. To think for yourself and to move against the popular thinking, you must question authority and dare put yourself in a vulnerable, chaotic, and sometimes confused position. Remember that Socrates died for his beliefs. Even if most people today won’t die for defending their beliefs, risks must be taken.

Now, before leaving this page, I suggest you question and ponder on everything you just read.

Reading without reflecting is like eating without digesting. - Edmund Burke

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