“There are these four ways of answering questions. Which four? There are questions that should be answered categorically [straightforwardly yes, no, this, that]. There are questions that should be answered with an analytical (qualified) answer [defining or redefining the terms]. There are questions that should be answered with a counter-question. There are questions that should be put aside. These are the four ways of answering questions.” – Buddha
A question may be either a linguistic expression used to make a request for information, or else the request itself made by such an expression. This information is provided with an answer.
Each of us has questions. Each of us is looking for answers to those questions. But how to find satisfactory answers, how to get people to answer our questions without creating feelings of frustration and anger?
In both the cyberspace and the off-line environment, the kind of answer you will get will always depend on three factors:
- the way you ask the question;
- the difficulty there is in developing the answer;
- who/where/when you’re asking for an answer;
Regardless whether you’re posting questions to a professional forum, newsgroup, or emailing a friend, it is vital to respect some guidelines in order to increase the possibility for quickly receiving a good answer.
Receiving a “flame” answer indicates that you have not taken the right steps in formulating your question. It might also indicate that the information you saw fit to provide in your original question is either too little, too late, totally missing or irrelevant to the question.
The following rules and guidelines will help you avoid flames and get the most satisfying answers for all your questions.
Basics
If you’re not a paying subscriber to some question answering service, never assume you are entitled to get an answer from someone. You are not. You will earn an answer, if you earn it, by asking a substantial, interesting, and thought-provoking question — one that implicitly contributes to the experience of others rather than merely passively demanding knowledge.
Never demand an answer.
Before asking any question
You should know that no one tolerates laziness …in others.
Most of us are psychologically programmed to throw away questions from people who appear to be too “busy” to look for an answer themselves – especially if it’s an easy one. It is not efficient to try to help people who are not willing to help themselves.
When asking a question, any question, display the fact that you’ve done your homework first, as this will help establish that you’re not a lazy sponge who likes wasting people’s time. Better yet, people like to see that you have learned from doing your homework; show that you’ve learned from the answers you’ve found on your own.
This is the homework that you have to do before even thinking of asking someone else a question:
- Try to find an answer by searching the net. What this means is searching for an answer on the forum/newsgroup you intend to post your question to; search Google, Yahoo!, MSN. Very often, if you know how to formulate your question, you’ll find a satisfying answer by doing a simple search;
- Try to find an answer by inspection and experimentation. Don’t ask someone why you’re hungry if you haven’t tried eating. Don’t ask someone why your car doesn’t start if you haven’t tried using your car keys. Someone might answer your question and solve your problem, but you are guaranteed to never receive any other answers from them;
- Try to find an answer by looking for similar questions. Many people ask questions that have been asked many times before – in one form or another. Even if you haven’t found a satisfying answer for your particular question, try looking for similar ones. By doing this you might just learn new things that will eventually answer your particular question;
- If you’re having trouble with an electronic device, search for an answer to your question in its documentation. Many tech-support persons can confirm that the number 1 cause for calling them is because people do not read the manuals.
Asking the question
A question like:
“Please help me, I cannot see with my right eye!! What can I do about it? Will someone help me?”
will receive a hostile, arrogant answer. And that doesn’t happen because people are bad intended, but because the one asking the question is too lazy to help himself and doesn’t offer any kind of useful information regarding his problem. Anyway, let’s suppose that someone did want to try to answer the question: they will have to ask for more information, which in turn will cause the asker to come back and explain his issue, thus lengthening the answering process and creating frustration for both sides.
A good question includes information from any or all of the following categories:
- What are you trying to do?
- Why are you trying to do it?
- What did you already try, why, and what was the result of your actions?
- What is the issue you encountered?
- For how long you have been experiencing the issue?
- Have you searched relevant forums, newsgroups or other places for a solution?
- What changes took place between the time everything was fine and when you noticed the issue?
Rule #1: When asking questions, never force the people you want to answer to assume anything; say everything there is to say about your problem right at the beginning.
If we modify the above example question to follow this rule, we get something like:
“50 minutes ago I was in the basement spraying for bugs when suddenly an air current moved the spray towards my eyes. Somehow, my left eye missed the spray cloud, but the right one wasn’t so lucky. I immediately went upstairs and washed my eyes with lots of fresh water, but even so, my right eye got glowing red. At the moment I can barely see with it.
It’s now been 20 minutes since I washed my eyes and things don’t seem to improve. I called the hospital and they told me they’ll send an ambulance in 15 minutes. Until the ambulance arrives, I wanted to see if any of you experienced this kind of issue and what was your solution to it.
I am really scared.”
A question like this is very likely to receive attention and satisfying answers. Even if it may take a little longer to write, it shows that you care about your problem.
Rule #2: do not make people ask clarifying questions. The more relevant info you provide, the more likely it is that your problem can be resolved quickly. Help others help you. A poorly written question says a lot about the one asking it: if a person doesn’t care enough about her own problem, it will be much harder for others to care enough about it to help her.
Also, avoid typing your question in ALL CAPS. It is harder to read and in most cases it is interpreted as shouting and is considered to be rude. Example:
“PLEASE HELP ME, I CANNOT SEE WITH MY RIGHT EYE!!! WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT IT? WILL SOMEONE HELP ME?”
This takes us to rule #3: try to express yourself in a clear language avoiding spelling mistakes or grammatical errors, and by all means – do try to use punctuation marks in the right place.
Hints for asking questions
Never (ever) flag a message as urgent. It’s a psychological known fact that we mostly think about our own person. The fact that you have an urgent problem …well, that is your problem. Other people have their own problems. What’s more, claiming urgency is very likely to be counter-productive: most people will simply see such messages as rude and selfish attempts to elicit immediate and special attention – thus deleting them on spot.
Never say (or write) “Thank you in advance.” This will make most people feel bad about it because they interpret it as “I have a very urgent question I want you to help me with, but I don’t really have the time to come back and personally thank you, because it’s MY time I care about, not yours.” Instead, use a “Thank you” after receiving your answer to let people understand that you care about their time and effort.
There are many things that could be written on this topic but it is the essential that matters. Following the above guidelines will result in you finding better answer for your questions, faster.
