Because I’ve recently turned 20, I think it may be a good idea to write a post about the most important things that I’ve learned in my two decades of existence on this earth.

1. Great love involves great risk. Because love is the definition of freedom. Love offers the loved one the liberty to either embrace or reject it, without asking for anything in return. Love means giving all you’ve got without expecting something in return. And that can make it risky.
2. Success is much like love; a risk game. Successful people are not necessarily those with more talent. They often are simply those who are willing to take new ideas and not just think about them, but rather risk failure by trying to do something with those new ideas. “No pain, no gain”. No risk, no success.
3. Respect yourself and the people around. “Self-respect is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself.” ~ Abraham J. Heschel. “Learning to respect others’ differences, comes in time. As Helen Keller said “the highest result of education is tolerance.” By learning more about others we begin to realize that being tolerant is not about compromising our own beliefs, but rather, as John Kennedy said, it’s about “condemning the oppression or persecution of other’s [beliefs].” Continued education is the only root to a truly tolerant society ” ~ Gregory R. Snow.
4. Take full responsibility for all your actions. Do you believe in luck? I don’t. I believe in taking full responsibility for our actions, and what “luck” is doing is a shifting of responsibilities from us to something unknown and uncontrollable. Being responsible means that we should be aware that we are in complete control over our own life. Accepting “luck” and other unknown factors means that we give up a part of that power. With accepting full responsibility comes a better understanding of life.
5. Getting what you [deeply] want doesn’t necessarily mean getting what you want. We often don’t really know what we want, and we forge false dreams that we force ourselves to believe in. That kind of dream is better left unfulfilled, because there are dreams that don’t help you, and then there are dreams that get in your way. The “user-created” dreams are often in the latter category.
6. Rules are made to be broken. They are made to be followed only to the extent that they serve their purpose. After that, they are made to be changed through means comenserate to the extent which they fail to serve. Who decides if rules serve their purpose? Those who must live with the consequences of the rules. That’s me and you.
7. Listen to your thoughts. Listen to your thoughts and learn to love the inner process that is unfolding. You have the stuff of heroes in there, but you must believe that. You must believe that it is worth it to stay alive - that it is possible to live with confusion. This is still a good life, even with some of the occasional pain.
8. Be flexible. Flexibility means being open to change. You consider others ideas and feelings and don’t insist on your own. Flexibility gives you creative new ways to get things done. You get rid of bad habits and learn new ones. Flexibility helps you to keep changing for the better.
9. In an argument, never bring up the past. Rules for a fair argument should start with “don’t bring up the past”. When something is resolved and it rests in the past, let it be. The past doesn’t exist, it’s only in our minds. Too many times in an argument people get way off the subject and fight about past fights - about things that don’t exist. The correct way to solve an argument is to talk out the differences and to be polite. You accomplish more this way than by arguing about the unreal things of the past.
10. “Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.” ~ Dalai Lama.
11. “Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it” ~ Dalai Lama. Everything has a price. What’s the point of gaining the world if you’ve lost yourself in the process. Success depends on what you’re giving up for it. If you’re giving up too much - your values - for too little - power, respect, a huge villa - , then you’re not successful. Success means giving little and creating much.
12. “Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon” ~ Dalai Lama. What this means is that you should throw everything you can into them without caring about the consequences. If it ends the way you wanted to, be happy, if not, be happy.

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